When Things Fall Apart
by Springs breath
Summary: Emily has never been good at coping when things fall apart. In fact, she prefers her life neat, orderly, and, most importantly, predictable. After her mistake with Will, how will she prove to Micah that he was never her second choice? And will Emily learn to cope when life sends her most disorderly mess of all? (*Titled borrowed from Chinua Achebe's 'Things Fall Apart')
1. Chapter 1: Thinking Messes Up Everything

**Hi guys! I'm not sure if everyone abandoned this fandom back in 2013 when the show got cancelled, but I just discovered it on Netflix and was** ** _heartbroken_** **when I realized there was no more. (Seriously, they need to label that shit so you know what you are getting into)**

 **Anyway, I have been really caught up on the characters and obsessed with how much Emily f-ed up. So, naturally, I wrote a continuation fanfic from where the show left off. I have some chapters already written but I'm going to try publishing biweekly updates *crosses fingers hopefully* I am notorious for losing steam in a project, so review to keep me going! (Also so I actually know there are some of you out there reading!)**

 **Just to be transparent: this story has quite a bit of language because... well... I have quite a bit of language. And later on the rating will be bumped up to M for sexual reasons. I will put a warning at the beginning of the chapter but you** ** _may_** **miss some plot details.**

 **Thanks to** **Polkadottedgiraffe11 for being a _FANTASTIC_ beta! I would probably go insane trying to figure this out without you!**

 **Without further ado (except that I don't own any of this content or characters)**

* * *

 **Chapter 1:** _Thinking Messes Up Everything_

Emily can't think. Thinking is what has kept her from every amazing thing she could have had. That's what everyone keeps telling her.

Instead, she has to just let the med student in her take control and kiss Will. It's easy enough to get by with half-hesitancy as Will has the confidence and desperation for the both of them. He seems to be devouring her with his mouth, he's everywhere all at once and yet nowhere she wants him to be. Stop thinking, Emily, feel. Just feel.

Feel his stubble on her stomach. Feel his hands cupping her ass. Taste the whiskey on his breath. Just like her first kiss with Micah.

 _Micah_.

Like a flash, Emily returned to her body and broke the kiss.

 _Shit. Micah_.

Sweet, caring Micah. Dimpled smiles flashed through her head. The feeling of his breath fanned across hers after their first kiss.

 _Fuck_.

The world was a blur. The room was spinning and Emily wasn't sure exactly what she had just done. In a haze, she grabbed her coat and purse and left the apartment, completely oblivious to the confused Will she left in her living room and the pajamas she was still wearing.

The 10 minute drive to the hospital may as well have been an eternity. Her heart was beating faster than the car's engine she was sure and yet she couldn't help but wonder what that technically was. _Micah and I aren't dating so does this count as cheating? Am I putting pressure on him to call this cheating? I feel like I did something wrong. Why do I feel like I did something wrong?_

Nearly perfect recall may have been her saving grace in medical school, but she would have traded it away for anything now. The more her brain looped the intense three minutes she spent with Will, the more emptier she felt. His touches had been selfish. Med Student Emily would be desperately searching for what she did wrong, but Dr. Emily Owens realized that it wasn't her Will was searching for. She was just a stand in and she was tired of it. Tired of being his side thing.

 _But Micah_. Half jogging through the halls, her eyes finally found his blue scrubs and it was like a bubble in her had burst. It took all her self control to restrain from hugging him right there. Her heart was screaming at her that this was her last chance to touch him and her muscles were shaking from the strain of staying calm.

His eyes caught hers and he smiled. The image fit perfectly over the dimpled one she'd pictured before. "Hey," he seemed happy. _Finally happy_.

She tried to look normal, "Hey."

"Aren't you off?" He seemed more than a little curious. _But still happy._

"Can we talk? I really need to talk." Standing here any longer would be the death of any restraint she'd conjured. Something deep in her knew that she was about to lose everything and she desperately wanted to close her fingers around the last bit before it all slipped away.

"I have a patient, 5 minutes on the roof?"

She nodded with a slight smile before heading to the stairwell. Normally, she'd take the elevator for the 4 flights up and then take the stairs for the last floor to the roof, but she needed the time alone.

With each step all the self restraint was replaced ounce by ounce with the overwhelming sense that she had royally screwed up everything. After all though, did she really want Micah? If not she had just ruined any chance of what she'd been pining after for years with Will. But then she thought about losing Micah. It was like a weight had landed on her chest and was preparing to take up permanent residency. How could she feel so strongly about someone she'd only know for a few months? _I really need to workout more if this is what 4 floors does to me._ Her hands itched to grab onto him and never let go.

She stood staring into the blinding sun for maybe 3 minutes before she heard the door click behind her. The noise seemed to resound like a metaphorical end to what Emily only just realized she really wanted.

As soon as she saw the soft look of adoration on his face, all her control went out the window. Suddenly it was just her mouth on his. Gently, with more than a little hesitation, she wound her arms around his neck and played with the soft hairs underneath his hairline. He shivered at the sensation and she marveled that she'd caused such a reaction. Titling his mouth to better access hers as though he only just woke from a revery, Emily realized she didn't want this to heat up. She didn't need to go any further because she could lounge in his arms all day.

Slowly, she pulled back enough to rest her forehead on his and closed her eyes. "Yes," she breathed out softly.

"Well, that's better than thank you. I guess," she giggled a little. Nervously more than anything.

Their breathing was labored still when Emily opened her eyes, afraid to meet Micah's. He angled his head down slightly to catch her gaze, "Hey."

Her nose scrunched up slightly as she realized what needed to come next, "Hi."

"What's going on?" His eyes searched hers with a calm patience. But she could tell he was more than a little freaked out.

Her hands went to her hair as she attempted to steady her breathing, "I screwed up. It was stupid and I know I overthink things but Tyra is definitely wrong, you have to think before you act with this stuff."

She was rambling. She knew it. So did Micah. Looking up from the pebbled roof, she saw his brain reeling as she tried to piece together what she was saying.

"I did something stupid. And as soon as it happened I knew I had to see you and tell you because I felt like I had cheated. Which is stupid because we haven't even talked about what we are-"

"Wait, Emily. What did you do?" There was no hiding it now. He was scared. She had done this.

 _I ruined his happy._

"Will and I got a drink after our shift. And he told me he liked me. Which I didn't know how to respond to- so I left. Only, he followed me upstairs and I let him in."

Terrified of what she might see there, she peaked at his face. It was blank as he followed her story.

"I kissed him. Or more he kissed me. But I guess it doesn't matter because I let it happen. For about 3 minutes and then I saw you in my mind and I couldn't do it. I didn't want to."

It was quiet as she trailed off. "I don't want to be anyone's rebound or stand in. He wasn't there for me, he was there because he was lonely."

His eyes finally met hers and she nearly choked on the anguish she saw there.

"Micah-"

"Emily, wait. Just let me speak." He sat down and braced his arms against his thighs, dragging his gaze from the rooftop to meet her eyes.

"I know you say you're over him. But if he hadn't just broken up with Cassandra..." he cleared his throat of the emotion that was beginning to choke it, "if he'd said all those things and did all that of his own volition, would you still be here?"

She went to respond but he cut her off again, "Don't answer right now, just think about it."

He got up to leave and as his shadow retreated, the picture was so much like the one in her worst fears she couldn't help the sob that ripped across her throat. How did she manage to screw up everything so quickly?

Her head felt heavy. So she pulled her knees to her chest and watched the sun go to bed.

What the fuck had she done?

 **AN:**

 **So? What did you think? Review!**


	2. Chapter 2:Decisions, Decisions, Decision

**Chapter 2:** _Decisions, Decisions, Decisions_

She leaned against his solid frame and enjoyed the sun's rays. Sure, it was their 10th anniversary, but Emily still felt the need to be touching as much of him as possible sometimes. As they relaxed in the soft hammock, skin on skin in their bathing suits, she knew she never wanted to leave this spot.

"What will we do when we're old and grey?" she queried.

"Hmm," he pretended to think as he nuzzled her neck tenderly, "Have sex all the time?"

She swatted his arm benignly, "I mean when we can't be doctors."

"Have sex all the time?"

She could feel the smile on his lips as he kissed her bare shoulder. She rolled a little so she was lying on top of him, chest to chest, and could see his face.

"Why hello there, beautiful," he kissed her nose affectionately.

She smiled back at him. With the sunshine warming them both, there was nowhere else in the world she'd rather be.

"Emily," she felt a gentle tug on her shoulder. Her eyes fluttered a little, her face was a little crusty from crying. "Emily-"

The sunlight was painful but she forced herself to look at who was waking her. "Tyra-"

As her eyes adjusted, she noticed her surroundings. How did she get in an on-call room?

"Come on sleepy head, rounds start in 30 minutes."

"How did I get in here? I was on the roof-"

"Oh, you haven't heard?" Emily shot her a look, "Yeah, right. Well, the nurses are all abuzz with how Dr. Barnes carried you down from the roof last night and put you to bed."

Damnit. _I almost forgot about last night._

"Oh, god." She rubbed her forehead thinking about the gossip, "Has Dr. Bandari heard?"

"How am I supposed to know? Rounds start in 20 and, although I am your friend, I am seriously looking forward to this mess playing out. You, Will, Cassandra, Micah- all in one room. I should sell tickets."

Emily had forgotten in all the drama that she'd been on the phone with Tyra when Will came over. Although she appreciated the coffee and the wake-up call, she wished the woman could only talk quieter. And less for that matter.

"Look, I know you are still confused-"

"Actually, I'm not," Emily put in, "I know what I want."

"And?"

"I had a crazy dream-"

"Dr. Owens, you are going to be late for rounds if you walk any slower," Dr. Bandari clipped as she passed them in the hallway.

"Oh god," Emily rubbed her forehead in a failed attempt to make all the embarrassment and pain of the past few days go away. Tyra, on the other hand, seemed to be valiantly trying (and failing) to refrain from laughing.

As rounds finally finished, Emily attempted to grab Micah's arm. "Can we talk?" She tried not to look too vulnerable and scared.

"Dr. Owens, I have a few patients to see to, but I'd be glad to go over the case after lunch." He nodded briskly before heading down the hallway.

His coldness stung, Emily admitted. _Is this what I've done to our friendship? How did we get here?_ That is, until she saw the nurses with their eyes glued to the pair. _Please, God, say that was for show- to avoid gossip._

"Emily, you wanted to talk?" Micah walked quickly to catch up with her as she left her patient's room. His hand gently cupped her elbow, his touch completely preventing her from forming strung together thoughts. Thankfully, he took control and guided them to her closet office.

Taking one deep breath, she spun around to face him and blurted, "I made my decision."

 _One more deep breath and slower, Owens._ "I've been hung up on Will for so many years. But the thing is, I never said anything. Because saying something would have opened the door for all my fantasies to be obliterated. So instead I let myself build something completely different from reality in my head. Instead, I created the reality I wanted to be real. So he became perfect in my eyes and I couldn't see any of his flaws."

She got a little quieter. This was the hard part. Pulling her shoulders back, she pushed her hair out of her face and forced herself to look him in the eye. _If I'm going to be rejected, again, I'm going to do it facing my fears._

"Do you know how I know I'm over Will? He's no longer perfect in my eyes. And- and- I don't mean in the made up ' _he's 3 inches too tall'_ way that I used to- No, Micah, you've made me realize what I'm worthy. I'm not afraid to tell him no and, although I still love him as a friend, I realize that he treats me like _crap_."

Trying to defuse some of the tension and stress, she laughed a little hoping Micah would join. He remained leaning against the wall, arms crossed, paying close attention.

"When we kissed it wasn't the same, though. My brain didn't shut off. I wasn't incapable of breathing at the thought of losing him. I don't feel like I could just stare into his eyes for eternity and never miss the rest of the world… With you, I do."

Her eyes never left his - which may explain why she didn't realize he'd been walking towards her till he stood so close she was sure he could hear her heartbeat.

"I wouldn't have chosen Will because Will was never right for me. I don't even think the Will I built in my head was right for me. But this," she closed her eyes and leaned forward till their foreheads touched, "this feels right."

She was amazed she had gotten that all out. As the silence stretched out the confidence she so carefully built up came crashing down. He said nothing. But then again, he made no move to pull away.

She couldn't take it anymore. As she was about to laugh and pull back, he reached up to cup her cheeks. His thumbs drew soft circles and his eyes burned into hers. She never liked being the center of attention, but something about his eyes fascinated her. Emily had never known someone to look at her the way he did. Sure, she'd had some boyfriends. But Micah was … it was far more serious than that. Which was ridiculous because they weren't even dating. Yet.

"If the wheels in your brain turn any faster, I think steam will start to come out your ears," he quipped with a crooked smile. She giggled and wrapped her arms around his waist. She discovered she liked lying her head on his chest- she could count his heartbeats. Real and tangible, he was here. It was steady, if a little fast. Steady and calming.

"Thank you, by the way."

"What for?"

"Taking me off the roof and putting me in bed."

 _Goddamn, there is that sadness again. I hate making his eyes look like that._ "You looked like you'd been crying all night when I got off my shift. I had been planning on finishing our conversation, but you looked like you needed the sleep."

"More like the dream," she mumbled.

"Wait, what?"

 _Damn his good ears._

"Oh, nothing."

"No way, Owens. You are not getting off that easy. You had a dream about me?" The teasing light came back and there was the mischievous smile again.

"God, this is so embarrassing."

His face deadpanned, "Be warned, have I been called _The Tickler_ by my nieces. I know how to extract information."

She couldn't help the smile that spread across her face. She loved it when he talked about his family. Her answer must have been too slow, though, because his arms wound around her waist before starting to poke her sides.

"Ok, ok," she laughed, "Oh my god, I can't believe I'm telling you this. I had a dream we were on vacation in St. Something…. And it may have been our 10th anniversary."

She tried to whisper the last part while wiggling away from him. She scooted into her chair and laid her head on the desk, unable to face her shame.

When she looked up, his chin was resting on the desk too and he whispered, "That's really sweet."

She smiled halfheartedly. "What were we doing?"

She groaned, "Don't make me say anymore."

"Please?"

His chocolate brown eyes were on fire they were so bright. _He's happy. I can do this, look how happy it makes him._

"We were in a hammock talking about…."

Her voice got deadly quiet and she attempted her best to slip the last word by him "...sex."

She could hear him get up from his crouch. _Oh my god, I had 10 minutes and here I've gone and ruined it again._

His arms snaked around her waist (she was beginning to believe it was his favorite spot) and he leaned down to whisper in her ear from behind, "Sounds like a nice talk."

With a gentle kiss to her earlobe, he was off to do that thing they both got paid for…. Dear god…. What did they get paid for?

Right, doctoring.


	3. Chapter 3: We Collide

**A/N: So this is my first time writing any kind of smut... Let me know what you think?**

 **WARNING: Sexual material ahead! This is very explicit! You have been warned**

* * *

 **Chapter 4:** _Touches Like Fire_

After picking up some groceries for a camp-in "picnic", they were finally on their way to Micah's apartment. It dawned on Emily as they walked down the hallway to his door that she had never seen his place before. _God, what if he's a slob? What if he is one of those hoarders who looks all nice and put together but actually turns out to be psycho?_

Micah flashed her an apologetic smile as he fumbled to find his keys.

 _Alright, Owens, calm down. You are overthinking._

 _...You could still love him if he was a hoarder…. Yeah, this will be okay._

"Welcome to my humble abode," he pushed open the door to reveal a (thankfully) neat two-bedroom apartment.

The space was warm and inviting without being cluttered. A few houseplants lay in front of a bay window filled with afternoon sun, on either side book shelves ran floor to ceiling. It would've driven Emily crazy at home to have her books stacked in different directions; but running her finger down the shelves, she found she enjoyed the effect it had on the atmosphere. Relaxed and cozy. Every now and again the books were interrupted by a photo of friends or family and here and there an oddly sentimental trinket. A small couch with a throw blanket that wasn't folded and a neatly put together kitchen completed the look of lived-in and welcoming but tidy. As he put away the groceries, Emily couldn't help but admire how Micah fit into the space.

"Can I get you any wine?" Micah asked from across the room.

She smiled back at him and nodded a little. Her stomach was already aflutter and they had barely even started this date- she definitely needed the alcohol.

"Do you like my taste in books?" his voice startled her into a slight jump, nearly causing her to knock the wine glasses right out of his hands.

"Oh my god- I'm so- are you-?" Already she could feel the heat rising in her cheeks.

 _This is a terrible sign of what's to come. I should just say I'm feeling bad and go before I do more damage. Maybe we can still salvage our work relationship_.

"Woah, woah. I see that look on your face. I'm fine, hey, look- I'm fine," Micah pulled her chin to look at him but still she bit her lip nervously, "Besides, you promised me a date."

He had her there. Smirking triumphantly, he set their wine glasses down and turned to face her again. He kissed her nose gently, "I'm going to grab the food. Don't go anywhere- okay?"

She only contemplated leaving for a few seconds before sitting down to sip her wine. _Please don't screw this up._

Her phone buzzed with a text from Tyra:

" _Heard u and Micah went home bc u were "sick" "_

She was beat to a response by another text,

" _Nice job. I knew you'd think of something."_

Emily was still struggling to understand what she meant when a text string filled with eggplant, water squirt, and eye emojis rolled in: "? ﾟﾑﾅ? ﾟﾒﾦ? ﾟﾒﾦ? ﾟﾒﾦ?￢ﾀﾝ

 _Oh, that._

She was in the middle of texting out a response when Micah showed back up with a platter of cheese and picnic blanket. Nodding his head towards her phone, he asked, "Tyra?"

Emily blushed again, "Yea. She- well- yeah."

 _Better to not go into too many details there._

"So, Dr. Owens, tell me- when did you first realize you wanted to be a doctor?" Micah seemed genuinely curious as he spread the blanket for them in front of the window.

Emily scrunched up her nose and laughed at herself a little. "Actually, when I was little I wanted to be a concert cellist," she replied, her voice took on a touch of sadness as she continued, "It was my dad's instrument."

He nodded in understanding and waited for her to finish. "I had this delusion that if I got good enough, he'd hear about me and want to meet me," she smiled at the memory, "I wanted to tour with him more than anything... But turns out I hate being the center of attention. So I gave that up when someone asked me to audition for first chair and I couldn't. I thought a doctor would be a nice alternative."

Micah couldn't help it, he laughed a little. "I think you are the only person I know who chose doctor as an alternative."

"What was I supposed to do? Be a dentist?" Her nose scrunched up again. It was beginning to be Micah's favorite expression.

"Well, I'm sorry you never got to know your dad. But, I would love to hear you play again sometime."

She wasn't sure how he managed to look so genuine and kind all the time. It was like his face was permanently stuck on 'gentle'. _Actually, scratch that. I've seen him pissed- not fun._ But still, he seemed to be so …. _Happy._

 _Does he make that face for others too? Or is it just for me…_

Feeling selfish at the thought, she returned back to the conversation and her embarrassment at the memory of that night.

"Me? Noo, that was a one-time only private performance."

"What if I were to accompany you so it wasn't a solo?" He asked with a smile.

She was shocked, "You play?"

"Piano and only half decently. I'm definitely not as good as you."

"I doubt that," she said with an easy smile, "You seem naturally good at everything."

The room got quiet and Emily wasn't sure if the compliment was too much. At the moment, Micah was hard to read. He looked both shocked and amazed but Emily had no idea what at- both emotions could easily be 'good' or 'bad.' _What did I say?_

Finally, he spoke, "Sometimes, Emily Owens, you amaze me."

"What?" She asked, absolutely at a loss for what she'd done.

He rubbed the back of his neck a little, "I guess I got used to you being into Will and me waiting for you to come around. I never really imagined that you felt anything for me. I think I thought I'd have to convince you to do this. I just never imagined a reality where…"

He trailed off and shook his head a little at a loss for words.

"I said nice things to you?" She finished for shrugged his shoulders a little with a wry grin.

 _I've been so busying chasing the wrong guy I have completely left all the wooing to him._

His face was twisted in a sort of vulnerable half smile that broke her heart. _I really need to stop making him sad._ She leaned over, intending to give him a chaste kiss on the cheek, but at the same moment he turned his head and caught her full on the lips.

At first, they were both surprised. But as Emily brought her hand up to cup his cheek, they melted into each other. The kiss deepened as she scooted closer to him and his mouth opened to her. He tasted like cinnamon and wine and Emily wondered why she'd never thought of the combination before. Now she wanted a candle made out of it so she could drown in the smell. His hands found her waist and began to play with the skin under her sweater.

Suddenly very hot, she broke the kiss to remove her wool sweater. He was quick to resume his attentions- this time to her neck and shoulders. His mouth was cool on her hot skin. Kissing each piece of her slowly and softly, she gasped when, with a teasing look, he nipped gently. She knew he was great at multitasking but the combination of his hands continuing their gentle circles on her waist and his kissing left her completely helpless. Just when Emily was sure she' reached the threshold into incoherence, Micah shifted his attentions lower.

With one hand he began to kiss all around her breasts and with the other he pinched and played with her nipple. His attentions were thorough but in truth he could have been barely grazing her skin and her reaction would have been the same. The anticipation, the electricity- he was playing her like a well tuned fiddle and she was basking in every moment. Finally, he came back to her mouth and, as clarity returned, she grew aware of their clothing imbalance.

Shifting her weight again, she tugged at Micah's scrubs- determined to have access to more of him.

He took it off promptly and she stopped a moment to stare at his well toned stomach. He was by no means as ripped as other guys but Emily found she didn't mind. In fact, she liked his lean in-shape look. Above all else, he looked healthy. She could tell he was starting to get insecure at the attention so she carefully pushed him flat on the ground and straddled his hips. Fluttering kisses on his stomach, she made her way back to his face. Intent to prove, if only through actions, the way she felt about his body. Eye level again, she took a moment to look in his eyes and admire the effect she was having. His pupils were dilated and his eyes half-lidded. _Although, I suppose he does have a concussion so I may not be the cause of the dilation._

She kissed his neck and felt tempted to whisper something erotic and sexy but her confidence and eloquence failed her. Instead, she settled for returning to his mouth for an intense kiss. She let him take control of the kiss this time and was duly rewarded when he arched into her.

"Oh my god, Emily," He breathed when the kiss finally broke again, "You feel amazing."

Her fingers found their way down his stomach to the strip of hair leading to his belt buckle. It was curly and dark and when Emily gently grazed it, he shivered slightly. Quietly observing his reactions, she noted the goosebumps beginning to permeate and the heat rising in his skin. Looking in his eyes, she waited for a nod before continuing to unzip his jeans and help him out of them.

She stood up to take off hers and he rose with her, gently kissing her thighs as he provided support for her to step out of the pants. Both nearly naked, he took a moment to take in her body before telling her, "You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen."

She blushed and looked away. But he lovingly guided her chin to bring her mouth to his. As his lips tormented hers, she felt his hands go to her ass. Obligingly, she lifted her leg to wrap around his waist. He backed her into the wall and suddenly she could feel his erection. _Why have we never done this before?_

He lifted her other leg to his waist and carried her the short distance to his bed. They fumbled to lay down gracefully and ended up collapsing on each other giggling. The mood broke a little as they laughed, but she was quick to pick it up again as his head rested on her stomach. She gently moved his hair out of his face and kissed his forehead. It felt weird but also familiar and she realized she'd never been in a relationship where she didn't feel like the powerless one that needed protecting. With Micah, they took care of each other.

He twisted himself so that he was straddling her as she lay on her back. His hand snuck down to her panties and she nodded before losing all coherent thought to his ministrations.

Emily couldn't help but compare Micah's carefully attentive movements to Will's selfish taking. Micah seemed to listen to her every moan and note what made her do what. It dawned on her that he was learning her body. Her thoughts were jolted back to the moment, however, as an electric shock of pleasure coursed through her. She looked down to see him sucking the apex of her thigh, on his way to her pussy.

"Micah," she moaned when he finally arrived at the important spot. He had obviously paid attention to some anatomy class because he knew every place to hit. No longer the cool touch to her hot skin, he left little fires everywhere he went, burning his caresses into her skin.

On instinct, her fingers wove into his hair. She played with each close cropped curl as a tight ball began to wind in her stomach. Flexing her thighs with the movement of his tongue, she felt the pleasure in her fingertips. As it wound tighter, she knew it was time. So Emily reached down to his face and guided him back to eye level with her. They arched together and her hands attempted to find his boxer line. Failing in her goals, she got distracted by the feeling of the muscles ripple in his pelvis as he ground into her.

 _What did I do to deserve this man?_ She moaned and his hands left her face to finish her mission of removing his boxers.

Finally fully naked, they lay together for a moment, forehead to forehead, catching their breath before Micah pulled back to ask her, "Are you ok?"

She sighed slightly, "Far better than."

With another quick kiss, he reached between them to position himself. He slowly slid in and kissed her neck till he felt her relax.

His pace was slow and steady at first which gave Emily the time to roam her hands over his back. She had been fascinated with the human body since she decided to become a doctor in 7th grade but this was more than just anatomy. Micah's muscles glided under her hands as he rocked the two of them and she had a hard time concentrating with the overwhelming stimuli. His mouth was back on her neck and she couldn't breath the ball was getting so tight.

 _Oh god, he's doing everything_ _and I'm just lying here like a limp noodle._

But Emily was too far gone to do anything but be the temple Micah worshipped. His pace picked up. With each retreat of his cock, she began to clench, begging him to come back. She knew she was close but she wasn't sure where he was and doubt began to creep in that with all his attention, she had left him behind.

He groaned into her skin and muttered as he nibbled her earlobe, "It's okay, I'm right behind you."

The ball burst and Emily saw stars. Her toes curled and her core felt like a fireworks show. Micah followed shortly after, his continued pace prolonging her pleasure. Finally he collapsed beside her and they took a moment to breath.

As they cooled down, she moved to snug into his side. Gently kissing his chest, she whispered teasingly, "Thank you."

He only groaned, "Not again."

He disentangled himself from her and headed towards what she assumed was the bathroom. Suddenly cold without his warm body, she pulled the blanket folded at the end of his bed up to cover her. When he came back with a towel, Micah stopped to smile at the picture of Emily, not quite asleep, naked on his bed.

Eyes close, she muttered, "Are you going to come keep me warm or will I just have to take this blanket for our next date?"

He laughed a little as he came to join her, "Emily Owens gets annoyed. I am shocked."

"Only when I'm cold and my source of warmth leaves," she replied as she snuggled into his chest.

Not quite sleepy, Micah held her to him and played with her hair. Finally, he softly asked, "So there is going to be a next date?"

Waking from her half doze, she leaned up to kiss his collarbone, "Only if we actually get to the eating part next time."

"Technically this time isn't over."

"Oh?"

"Well if the date was over then this would just be Micah and Emily, friends or even intern and resident, hanging out. And I don't know about you but this is not what I do with my friends or interns," he teased.

She giggled in reply, "Then I guess you are right."

Sure she had fallen asleep, he quietly hummed as he stroked her hair. It soon became an absent-minded singing as the song washed over him.

 _But oh how it feels so real_

 _Lying here with no one near_

 _Only you and you can hear me_

 _When I say softly, slowly_

A sleepy voice joined him, " _Hold me closer, Tiny dancer."_

Micah started a little at the realization she was still awake, but decided to jump ahead a few verses,

" _Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man_

 _Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand_

 _And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand"_

He sang softly but still his voiced carried in the quiet apartment. As he took his breath for the last verse, he kissed her forehead and sang comfortable:

" _But oh how it feels so real_

 _Lying here with no one near_

 _Only you and you can hear me_

 _When I say softly, slowly_

 _Hold me closer, Tiny dancer."_

Grabbing his hand, she kissed his knuckles, completely overcome at his tender serenade.

She scooted up so she was leaning against the pillows, intent on moving back to eye level with him.

"I think you have officially topped the records room."

Smirking a little, he whispered, "I told you I would."

* * *

 **A/N: Obviously the song reference is** ** _'Tiny Dancer'_** **by Elton John. Feel free to look up the song if you don't know it, it's wonderful.**

 **Other than that, though, what are your thoughts?**


	4. Chapter 4: Touches Like Fire

**A/N: So this is my first time writing any kind of smut... Let me know what you think?**

 **WARNING: Sexual material ahead! This is very explicit! You have been warned**

* * *

 **Chapter 4:** _Touches Like Fire_

After picking up some groceries for a camp-in "picnic", they were finally on their way to Micah's apartment. It dawned on Emily as they walked down the hallway to his door that she had never seen his place before. _God, what if he's a slob? What if he is one of those hoarders who looks all nice and put together but actually turns out to be psycho?_

Micah flashed her an apologetic smile as he fumbled to find his keys.

 _Alright, Owens, calm down. You are overthinking._

 _...You could still love him if he was a hoarder…. Yeah, this will be okay._

"Welcome to my humble abode," he pushed open the door to reveal a (thankfully) neat two-bedroom apartment.

The space was warm and inviting without being cluttered. A few houseplants lay in front of a bay window filled with afternoon sun, on either side book shelves ran floor to ceiling. It would've driven Emily crazy at home to have her books stacked in different directions; but running her finger down the shelves, she found she enjoyed the effect it had on the atmosphere. Relaxed and cozy. Every now and again the books were interrupted by a photo of friends or family and here and there an oddly sentimental trinket. A small couch with a throw blanket that wasn't folded and a neatly put together kitchen completed the look of lived-in and welcoming but tidy. As he put away the groceries, Emily couldn't help but admire how Micah fit into the space.

"Can I get you any wine?" Micah asked from across the room.

She smiled back at him and nodded a little. Her stomach was already aflutter and they had barely even started this date- she definitely needed the alcohol.

"Do you like my taste in books?" his voice startled her into a slight jump, nearly causing her to knock the wine glasses right out of his hands.

"Oh my god- I'm so- are you-?" Already she could feel the heat rising in her cheeks.

 _This is a terrible sign of what's to come. I should just say I'm feeling bad and go before I do more damage. Maybe we can still salvage our work relationship_.

"Woah, woah. I see that look on your face. I'm fine, hey, look- I'm fine," Micah pulled her chin to look at him but still she bit her lip nervously, "Besides, you promised me a date."

He had her there. Smirking triumphantly, he set their wine glasses down and turned to face her again. He kissed her nose gently, "I'm going to grab the food. Don't go anywhere- okay?"

She only contemplated leaving for a few seconds before sitting down to sip her wine. _Please don't screw this up._

Her phone buzzed with a text from Tyra:

" _Heard u and Micah went home bc u were "sick" "_

She was beat to a response by another text,

" _Nice job. I knew you'd think of something."_

Emily was still struggling to understand what she meant when a text string filled with eggplant, water squirt, and eye emojis rolled in: "? ﾟﾑﾅ? ﾟﾒﾦ? ﾟﾒﾦ? ﾟﾒﾦ?￢ﾀﾝ

 _Oh, that._

She was in the middle of texting out a response when Micah showed back up with a platter of cheese and picnic blanket. Nodding his head towards her phone, he asked, "Tyra?"

Emily blushed again, "Yea. She- well- yeah."

 _Better to not go into too many details there._

"So, Dr. Owens, tell me- when did you first realize you wanted to be a doctor?" Micah seemed genuinely curious as he spread the blanket for them in front of the window.

Emily scrunched up her nose and laughed at herself a little. "Actually, when I was little I wanted to be a concert cellist," she replied, her voice took on a touch of sadness as she continued, "It was my dad's instrument."

He nodded in understanding and waited for her to finish. "I had this delusion that if I got good enough, he'd hear about me and want to meet me," she smiled at the memory, "I wanted to tour with him more than anything... But turns out I hate being the center of attention. So I gave that up when someone asked me to audition for first chair and I couldn't. I thought a doctor would be a nice alternative."

Micah couldn't help it, he laughed a little. "I think you are the only person I know who chose doctor as an alternative."

"What was I supposed to do? Be a dentist?" Her nose scrunched up again. It was beginning to be Micah's favorite expression.

"Well, I'm sorry you never got to know your dad. But, I would love to hear you play again sometime."

She wasn't sure how he managed to look so genuine and kind all the time. It was like his face was permanently stuck on 'gentle'. _Actually, scratch that. I've seen him pissed- not fun._ But still, he seemed to be so …. _Happy._

 _Does he make that face for others too? Or is it just for me…_

Feeling selfish at the thought, she returned back to the conversation and her embarrassment at the memory of that night.

"Me? Noo, that was a one-time only private performance."

"What if I were to accompany you so it wasn't a solo?" He asked with a smile.

She was shocked, "You play?"

"Piano and only half decently. I'm definitely not as good as you."

"I doubt that," she said with an easy smile, "You seem naturally good at everything."

The room got quiet and Emily wasn't sure if the compliment was too much. At the moment, Micah was hard to read. He looked both shocked and amazed but Emily had no idea what at- both emotions could easily be 'good' or 'bad.' _What did I say?_

Finally, he spoke, "Sometimes, Emily Owens, you amaze me."

"What?" She asked, absolutely at a loss for what she'd done.

He rubbed the back of his neck a little, "I guess I got used to you being into Will and me waiting for you to come around. I never really imagined that you felt anything for me. I think I thought I'd have to convince you to do this. I just never imagined a reality where…"

He trailed off and shook his head a little at a loss for words.

"I said nice things to you?" She finished for shrugged his shoulders a little with a wry grin.

 _I've been so busying chasing the wrong guy I have completely left all the wooing to him._

His face was twisted in a sort of vulnerable half smile that broke her heart. _I really need to stop making him sad._ She leaned over, intending to give him a chaste kiss on the cheek, but at the same moment he turned his head and caught her full on the lips.

At first, they were both surprised. But as Emily brought her hand up to cup his cheek, them melted into each other. The kiss deepened as she scooted closer to him and his mouth opened to her. He tasted a little like cinnamon and wine and Emily wondered why she'd never thought of the combination before. Now she wanted a candle made out of it so she could drown in the smell. His hands found her waist and began to play with the skin under her sweater.

Suddenly very hot, she broke the kiss to remove her wool sweater. He was quick to resume his attentions- this time to her neck and shoulders. His mouth was cool on her hot skin. Kissing each piece of skin slowly and softly, she gasped when, with a teasing look, he nipped gently. She knew he was great at multitasking but the combination of his hands continuing their gentle circles on her waist and his kissing left her completely helpless. Just when Emily was sure she' reached the threshold of incoherence, Micah shifted his attentions lower.

With one hand he began to kiss all around her breasts and with the other he pinched and played with her nipple. His attentions were thorough but in truth he could have been barely grazing her skin and her reaction would have been the same. The anticipation, the electricity- he was playing her like a well tuned fiddle and she was basking in every moment. Finally, he came back to her mouth and, as clarity returned, she grew aware of their clothes imbalance.

Shifting her weight again, she tugged at Micah's scrubs- determined to have access to more of him.

He took it off promptly and she stopped a moment to stare at his well toned stomach. He was by no means as ripped as other guys but Emily found she didn't mind. In fact, she liked his lean in-shape look. Above all else he looked healthy. She could tell he was starting to get insecure at the attention so she carefully pushed him flat on the ground and straddled his hips. Fluttering kisses on his stomach, she made her way back to his face. Intent to prove, if only through actions, the way she felt about his body. Eye level again, she took a moment to look in his eyes and admire the effect she was having. His pupils were dilated and his eyes half-lidded. _Although, I suppose he does have a concussion so I may not be the cause of the dilation._

She kissed his neck and felt tempted to whisper something erotic and sexy but her confidence and eloquence failed her. Instead, she settled for returning to his mouth for an intense kiss. She let him take control of the kiss this time and was duly rewarded when he arched into her.

"Oh my god, Emily," He breathed when the kiss finally broke again, "You feel amazing."

Her fingers found their way down his stomach to the strip of hair leading to his belt buckle. It was curly and dark and when Emily gently grazed it, he shivered slightly. Quietly observing his reactions, she noted the goosebumps beginning to permeate and the heat rising in his skin. Looking in his eyes, she waited for a nod before continuing to unzip his jeans and help him out of them.

She stood up to take off hers and he rose with her, gently kissing her thighs as he provided support for her to step out of the pants. Both nearly naked, he took a moment to take in her body before telling her, "You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen."

She blushed and looked away. But he lovingly guided her chin to bring her mouth to his. As his lips tormented hers, she felt his hands go to her ass. Obligingly, she lifted her leg to wrap around his waist. He backed her into the wall and suddenly she could feel his erection. _Why have we never done this before?_

He lifted her other leg to his waist and carried her the short distance to his bed. They fumbled to lay down gracefully and ended up collapsing on each other giggling. The mood broke a little as they laughed, but she was quick to pick it up again as his head rested on her stomach. She gently moved his hair out of his face and kissed his forehead. It felt weird but also familiar and she realized she'd never been in a relationship where she didn't feel like the powerless one that needed protecting. With Micah, they took care of each other.

He twisted himself so that he was straddling her as she lay on her back. His hand snuck down to her panties and she nodded before losing all coherent thought to his ministrations.

Emily couldn't help but compare Micah's carefully attentive movements to Will's selfish taking. Micah seemed to listen to her every moan and note what made her do what. It dawned on her that he was learning her body. Her thoughts were jolted back to the moment, however, as an electric shock of pleasure coursed through her. She looked down to see him sucking the apex of her thigh, on his way to her pussy.

"Micah," she moaned when he finally arrived at the important spot. He had obviously paid attention to some anatomy class because he knew every place to hit. No longer the cool touch to her hot skin, he left little fires everywhere he went, burning his caresses into her skin.

On instinct, her fingers wove into his hair. She played with each close cropped curl as a tight ball began to wind in her stomach. Flexing her thighs with the movement of his tongue, she felt the pleasure in her fingertips. As it wound tighter, she knew it was time. So Emily reached down to his face and guided him back to eye level with her. They arched together and her hands attempted to find his boxer line. Failing in her goals, she got distracted by the feeling of the muscles ripple in his pelvis as he ground into her.

 _What did I do to deserve this man?_ She moaned and his hands left her face to finish her mission of removing his boxers.

Finally fully naked, they lay together for a moment, forehead to forehead, catching their breath before Micah pulled back to ask her, "Are you ok?"

She sighed slightly, "Far better than."

With another quick kiss, he reached between them to position himself. He slowly slid in and kissed her neck till he felt her relax.

His pace was slow and steady at first which gave Emily the time to roam her hands over his back. She had been fascinated with the human body since she decided to become a doctor in 7th grade but this was more than just anatomy. Micah's muscles glided under her hands as he rocked the two of them and she had a hard time concentrating with the overwhelming stimuli. His mouth was back on her neck and she couldn't breath the ball was getting so tight.

 _Oh god, he's doing everything_ _and I'm just lying here like a limp noodle._

But Emily was too far gone to do anything but be the temple Micah worshipped. His pace picked up. With each retreat of his cock, she began to clench, begging him to come back. She knew she was close but she wasn't sure where he was and doubt began to creep in that with all his attention, she had left him behind.

He groaned into her skin and muttered as he nibbled her earlobe, "It's okay, I'm right behind you."

The ball burst and Emily saw stars. Her toes curled and her core felt like a fireworks show. Micah followed shortly after, his continued pace prolonging her pleasure. Finally he collapsed beside her and they took a moment to breath.

As they cooled down, she moved to snug into his side. Gently kissing his chest, she whispered teasingly, "Thank you."

He only groaned, "Not again."

He disentangled himself from her and headed towards what she assumed was the bathroom. Suddenly cold without his warm body, she pulled the blanket folded at the end of his bed up to cover her. When he came back with a towel, Micah stopped to smile at the picture of Emily, not quite asleep, naked on his bed.

Eyes close, she muttered, "Are you going to come keep me warm or will I just have to take this blanket for our next date?"

He laughed a little as he came to join her, "Emily Owens gets annoyed. I am shocked."

"Only when I'm cold and my source of warmth leaves," she replied as she snuggled into his chest.

Not quite sleepy, Micah held her to him and played with her hair. Finally, he softly asked, "So there is going to be a next date?"

Waking from her half doze, she leaned up to kiss his collarbone, "Only if we actually get to the eating part next time."

"Technically this time isn't over."

"Oh?"

"Well if the date was over then this would just be Micah and Emily, friends or even intern and resident, hanging out. And I don't know about you but this is not what I do with my friends or interns," he teased.

She giggled in reply, "Then I guess you are right."

Sure she had fallen asleep, he quietly hummed as he stroked her hair. It soon became an absent-minded singing as the song washed over him.

 _But oh how it feels so real_

 _Lying here with no one near_

 _Only you and you can hear me_

 _When I say softly, slowly_

A sleepy voice joined him, " _Hold me closer, Tiny dancer."_

Micah started a little at the realization she was still awake, but decided to jump ahead a few verses,

" _Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man_

 _Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand_

 _And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand"_

He sang softly but still his voiced carried in the quiet apartment. As he took his breath for the last verse, he kissed her forehead and sang comfortable:

" _But oh how it feels so real_

 _Lying here with no one near_

 _Only you and you can hear me_

 _When I say softly, slowly_

 _Hold me closer, Tiny dancer."_

Grabbing his hand, she kissed his knuckles, completely overcome at his tender serenade.

She scooted up so she was leaning against the pillows, intent on moving back to eye level with him.

"I think you have officially topped the records room."

Smirking a little, he whispered, "I told you I would."

* * *

 **A/N: Obviously the song reference is** ** _'Tiny Dancer'_** **by Elton John. Feel free to look up the song if you don't know it, it's wonderful.**

 **Other than that, though, what are your thoughts?**


	5. Chapter 5: Kiss It All Away

**A/N: Little bit of fluff and cute Emily-Micah stuff before we dive right into the meat of it all. Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 5** : _Kiss It All Away_

Emily didn't remember falling asleep, but she definitely knew when she woke up. _Everything hurts._ Her concussion was making it difficult to concentrate. A dull ache had taken up residence right behind her eyes and the sunlight burned through her closed lids. With reluctance, she rolled out of Micah's soft arms and reached in her purse to find her pain meds.

Knowing how much pain he'd be in when he woke, Emily tried her hardest to be quiet as she got a glass of water for herself and one to leave for when Micah woke up. However, as she snuck back into the bed, carefully placing the glass and extra pain med dose on the bedside table, she felt him stir.

"Mmm," he groaned.

He buried his head in her shoulder desperately wishing the sun would go away and leave him alone.

"Morning," she kissed his temple. Thankfully, the pain medication was starting to kick in and, in the process, kick out her dull ache.

She reached over and placed the pills in one of his hands and held the water out for the other. Dutifully he took his medicine before burying his head back in his pillow. _That's not such a bad idea._ The pillows seemed to call her back to them so she eased herself back onto her side. As his breathes rose and fell, she watched his features move- committing each of them to memory.

 _He is practically perfect. Sexy and smart. But considerate and caring. God, he's so considerate and kind. And even attentive. Not to mention talented._

Each time he breathed out, his mouth slightly curved up at the corners. Like he was having a good dream and each moment made it better. The sun broke through a cloud and she noticed the morning stubble peppered across his jawline. She shivered as she remembered that jawline.

 _What does he see in me? He, who is so perfect, is not supposed to be with awkward, nerdy Emily Owens. He's supposed to be with someone like Dr. Kelly Hamata. She's feminine and graceful and smart without being nerdy. And she probably actually contributed when they had sex._

She shivered again. The thought of Micah having sex with someone else, of doing the same things he did to her body to anyone else, made her irrationally upset. Not to mention the guilt of last night.

 _He's probably realized now just what I am. No more pretending. He's gonna wanna get out now. Be prepared. He's too nice to say anything so you have to look for the signs. Don't make this harder on him._

"Watching people sleep in many cultures is considered creepy," he said, eyes still closed.

She just smiled a little and breathed out a little 'sorry.'

He opened his eyes again and took a moment to focus on her. "What were you thinking?"

"Nothing," she lied with a forced smile.

"Liar," he was now fully facing her, eyes focused intently on hers.

 _Shit. I ca-can't- Well, maybe I should. Maybe I should just say it for him. It's the least I can do._

"I was thinking about how much of a mistake you are realizing you made."

Hurt flashed deep in his eyes. "You- " he began.

She was confused. _No, not me. You._

"You felt like last night was a mistake?" he asked nervously.

He'd never looked so vulnerable. His voice was husky with emotion and his mouth was slowly dropping.

"God, no. You-"

"No," he cut her off.

"But-"

"Last night was the best thing that I've done in a while," he responded, reaching out to grab her hand.

A black hole of swirling thoughts were eating away everything Emily thought she knew.

"But I… I was so selfish. I didn't-" she couldn't finish the thought.

Understanding dawned on his face, "Emily, you were amazing."

"I felt like a limp noodle."

Micah couldn't help it, he laughed. Taking the time to roll closer to her, his arms stretched out to pull her close again. "You were sexy," he sucked on the soft skin below her ear, "You were beautiful," he kissed her jawline, " You were amazing last night."

She moaned a little and titled her neck to give him better access, but he gave her one last kiss before getting up out of bed. The view from the bed of his retreating pajama clad ass and bare back slightly compensated for the loss of body warmth.

"Didn't I mention how cranky I get when my warmth leaves?" she called teasingly as she pulled on his shirt. It was soft and well worn. It smelled like him too.

"Are you smelling my shirt?" he asked with clear indication he thought she was insane. She dropped the front of the shirt from her nose and smiled back, "Maybe."

She sashayed around him with ease to start the coffee pot. "And tell me, Dr. Owens, what does it smell like?"

"Funny, you should ask, Dr. Barnes, because I was just trying to figure that very thing out for myself."

She leaned against the counter and squinted in mock concentration, "Something green. And clean."

He laughed, "Well I'm glad it smells clean."

She handed him a cup of coffee and sat on the edge of the couch, folding her legs underneath her carefully. She took one last whiff and closed her eyes, letting him wash all over her.

He stood there amazed as she sat in a seeming trance of bliss. A smile broke on her lips, "Eucalyptus."

She turned to look at her and he raised his hands in a "guilty" position. "It's a stress reliever and works great in lotion, I'll have you know."

He joined her on the couch, "What would you like to have for breakfast?"


End file.
